Friday, September 22, 2006

10 Ways to cope with a failed IUI

1. Cry a little bit, but try to control yourself while driving because not only do you look like a lunatic (which is probably really disconcerting to other drivers), but it's hard to see properly when you're looking through tears.

2. Keep any non-fertility related doctor's appointments you may have already made, because finding out your blood pressure is perfect will make you feel infinitesimally better about the state of your stupid, broken-down, and frustratingly malfunctioning body. And infinitesimally better is better than nothing.

3. Count your blessings, like the husband who gets mad at you for apologizing when you tell him that the IUI failed and makes very sure that you know he doesn't feel an ounce of anger towards you or said frustratingly malfunctioning body.

4. Treat yourself. Go to your favourite grocery store instead of the discount chain with the shitty produce where you have to bag your own groceries and get a big honking chocolate cake. Eat close to a quarter of it almost as soon as you get home.

5. Decide to take a holiday from the fertility clinic. Throw caution to the wind and bar all doctors, nurses and ultrasound technicians from your nether regions and refuse to take any and all mood-altering fertility medications for the period of one complete cycle. Just because you can. And if you don't you may go stark raving mad.

6. Keep on crocheting little hats for little heads even though you know full well they might never find their way onto a child of your own. Take comfort in knowing that little heads somewhere will be snug and toasty just the same.

7. Mope, but don't lose hope.

8. Recognize that number 7 is really hard to do (the not losing hope part) and that it's kind of annoying that it rhymes.

9. Gratefully accept the hugs and positive thoughts from the 9 billion people you told about the IUI in the first place.

10. Vow to keep things a little more private in future in order to spare everyone's feelings - including your own.

21 comments:

MB said...

Dammit. I'm so sorry. It all sucks...except the cake. I may go get myself a cake.

Hugs.

DinosaurD said...

I'm also sorry - I was hoping all the little hats were some sort of signal.
For some reason I still have _____(faith? hope? conviction?) that one of those hats will find their way onto a child of your own (however they come into your life).
DinoD

Thistlemchays said...

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry.

stephanie said...

Ah, sweetie, so sorry to hear it. Thinking of you and your beloved both.
xo

Julie said...

(((((((hugs))))))

Abby said...

H&S! That is all. Oh and eat as much chocolate cake as you want -- you deserve it.

Julie said...

(((((Hugs)))) I am so sorry.

Aidan's Mom said...

oh gosh.. i hope you get some ooey gooey chocolate cake and other yummy morsels and do some serious self pampering this weekend.
Hope is hard to keep track of, but do your best. U are an amazing woman.
Huge hugs because there are no words....
Jess

Denise said...

I'm so sorry...like everyone else here I was so hoping for wonderful news. ((((hugs))))

Margaret said...

I am sorry. Sending you both (((((hugs))))).

kimberm71 said...

I'm so sorry ((hugs))

Laura said...

Oh no. Oh Kristin. Dammit. #7, #7, #7!

Hugs from me too.

sillyhummingbird said...

Oh, I am so sorry. Thinking of you. (((HUGS))) But I, too, have faith your son or daughter will love those hats.

Sarah said...

I'm really sorry that you had to write this and had to live this... I'm very sorry.
hugs

kate said...

I'm very sorry.....((((((hugs))))))

Rosepetal said...

I'm so sorry too.

Chrissy said...

(((hugs)))

Kim said...

An added treat: Orville Reddenbacher's sweet and buttery popcorn. And throw some chocolate chips in. It's practically unbeatable.

I'm so sorry.

Katie said...

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

that's me moaning through clenched teeth.

I'm so very sorry.

Ruby said...

I'm so sorry. Sending you hugs, thoughts and prayers.

Pamper yourself. Go all out(chocolate cake is definitely a good beginning.)

Baronmama said...

I know how you feel. I just took a pregnancy test after our 7th IUI, and once again it failed. I feel less like a woman every single time I look and see only one stupid line. I have had 3 miscarriages. And I just don't know if I can take it anymore. I am only 23 years old. But with my PCOS and my husbands low motilty, I am begining to think God hates me. My husband is active duty Air Force. So of course we don't have enough money to afford IVF or adoption. I guess I will just become a childess old woman with 1,000 cats. ( Yes I have four by now.)And being affiliated with the military, it seem like every other women is pregnant. All of my friends have gotten preggers and had there babies. And there advice to me is "keep trying, it will work" Well how do you know? It took you 4 months of trying to get knocked up. I have been trying for 2 and a half years. 2 of those years I have been taking hormones that make me crazy, and all i have to show for it is some miscarriages and very little savings. Well I guess I just needed to vent. Good luck to you, it seems we both need it.