..with my apologies to John Lennon for stealing his lyric.
Seriously. These are strange days indeed.
I feel like the only person on the planet who is destined never to be pregnant again. Ever. Period. Pardon the pun.
And you know what else? People always say that they lose their identity when they have kids. They say they become "mom" and nothing else. Well let me tell you, for four years I've been either mourning lost children or dealing with infertility - two of those four years doing both. And it's easy to lose yourself in that too. Very easy indeed.
I don't know who I am anymore. And it's not just the Mike's Hard Lemonade talking either (okay maybe it is a bit, but screw it - it was needed and deserved).
Seriously. I'm the most boring woman on the planet. These are my claims to fame: to never be pregnant again, just forever mind-numbingly boring. I live from cycle to failed cycle and the longer this goes on, the farther away from my friends with living children I feel. They're kind enough to keep me in their world, but why the flock they do is beyond me sometimes.
I have nothing to talk about except my uterus and its spectacular penchant for failing me.
I've run out of things to talk about. And I've run out of things to think about.
Except that. Except what I've lost and what I can't for the life of me seem to get. Children.
Am I boring? AM I??
PMS makes me incredibly paranoid. And, evidently, so does this hard lemonade.
Strange days indeed.