Monday, November 17, 2008

Jesus and then some

During the SARS outbreak back in 2003, Catholic churches in the greater Toronto area advised their congregants to take communion by hand instead of directly into the mouth. It was a practice most people were doing anyway, but after the edict came down from above in the midst of the SARS pandemonium, pretty much everyone opted to follow the new rule.

Because SARS scared me, I obeyed too, even though I was used to simply popping out my tongue and being served.

We stopped shaking hands at the sign of peace for quite some time too. They were strange times, that frightening Spring of long ago.

Anyway, for some reason I never got back into my old full-serve habit and have been taking communion by hand ever since.

And it's been working out just fine.

But...

On Sunday...*shudder*...on Sunday, in that fraction of a second when you see something that isn't quite right but don't have enough time to react to it, I saw a hair on my host.

A. Hair.

And I know it wasn't Jesus'.

With absolute horror, I saw it laying across the top of the host sitting in my upturned palm. "BLOW" was my first thought, but it somehow seemed wrong to dust off the body of Christ before putting it into my mouth. I didn't want to offend. Or cause a scene. Or get Jesus all mad at me.

So I ate it. Hair and all.

I can only assume that it belonged to the Minister of Communion. The good news is that she looked nice and clean, albeit colour processed.

But still, dudes, I ate her hair.

I didn't sign up for this. I totally did NOT sign up for this.

11 comments:

miraclebaby said...

Um, ew! LOL you are way better than me. Hair is instant gag.

ladywithasong said...

Eeeeeeeeeew! Poor you :(

As an aside, my husband will be very interested to hear about the SARS/communion stuff and hand shaking stuff... he's writing a day long workshop on the tx of hypochondriasis / health anxiety and is looking for material!

BasilBean said...

Oh my gosh, you have me giggling like crazy! Sorry to laugh at you--eating hair is yucky--but you sure do have a gift for telling stories.

Rosepetal said...

oh no!

areyoukiddingme said...

I would have had to blow that hair off - and give the minister a nasty look. That's it! Hair nets required at Communion! Still laughing...

Catherine said...

oh! oh! oh! That is NASTY! (but funny!)

Teresa said...

Thanks for the laugh! LOL

Scrappy_Lady said...

Nothing like accepting Jesus as he comes to you, huh? (hair and all)

LOL

Tee said...

I just laughed so hard out loud that Rob thinks I am nuts!

kate said...

EWW! Eww eww eww eww eww eww eww eww eww!

AnnaMarie said...

Oh you make me laugh! I love your train of thought and desire not to offend Jesus!