Thursday, November 11, 2010

Christmas List

My Christmas list
By Kristin, age 40 & 1/2

1. I would like my Dad to be here for Christmas. Please.
2. I would like like them (whoever "they" are) to hurry the hell up and find a cure for cancer. For all cancers, and no matter at what stage. I would like that very much. Please.
3. I would like someone to invent a reasonably priced and 100% effective under eye cream that would make me look rested and relaxed, even when I'm exhausted and knotted up into a Kristin-shaped ball off anxiety.
4. I would like them (whoever "they" are) to make a fat-free chocolate substitute that tastes exactly like the real thing. But only after they're finished finding the cure for cancer.
5. I would like to be thin. Without if by magic.
6. I would like Justin Bieber to fix his hair. And then go away.
7. I would like our region to change its policy on backyard poultry so we could have a tiny flock of chickens in our yard, allowing us to bake and cook with farm fresh eggs. Every day, if we wanted.
8. I would like to find a comfortable pair of chubby-foot-flattering heels that don't make it appear as though I'm wearing cartoon pig hooves.
9. Oh hell, I would just like to have thin feet. And ankles that never swell.
10. I would like the fashion industry to pay more attention to round, short-waisted women so I could wear pants that aren't always two inches south of my cleavage.

But mostly I want #1 and #2. So Santa, go work your magic.



Denver Laura said...

Here from Mels' blog to grat you a wish: I wish your dad would visit you for Christmas too:) There's hope for the backyard chickens. Many muni have decided that it's not so bad if you don't have a rooster. Maybe you could connect with a local CSA and get those eggs you can't have in your own backyard?

loribeth said...

I hope you get the entire list. : ) But especially #1 & #2. (((hugs)))

areyoukiddingme said...

I hope Santa brings you everything on your list...

Mrs. Spit said...

I think it's a good list, I'm with you on 1 and 2 especially.

Hennifer said...

A very well worded, and though out, list I must say!

Illanare said...

I hope for everything on the list for you. But hope and hope again for numbers one and two.