I've been thinking a lot about the twins today, as though I suddenly just remembered them.
Grief is weird. For some odd reason they finally seem like real little people to me, and they've been gone for more than two months.
Last night I lay in bed with my hands on my tummy. I can't believe how many little people have been in there. How many babies have slipped in and out so quickly and quietly. And, in most cases, dramatically.
There's nothing quite as jarring as the doughy emptiness of a tummy after a miscarriage or three.
I got a new pair of glasses that I think are very cool and that I think look very cool on me. But to be honest, I'm also secretly a little worried that I look like Mrs. Beesley in them.
Please tell me I'm wrong about the latter...
I have an adorable picture of my friend's baby boy wearing one of Thomas' outfits, but I keep forgetting to ask her if I can post it here.
I hope she says yes. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Still no word from the OB on my blood tests. I'm calling on Monday if I don't hear anything by the end of the week. I've been very patient, but I neeeeeeed to know.
Someone asked - they're looking for clotting disorders.
A clotting disorder will go nicely with my deformed uterus, I think. It's what all the best dressed infertiles are wearing this season.
The other day on my way a meeting I was passing Toys 'R Us when a parade of employees marched directly in front of my path wielding all the big, key nursery necessities for a customer leading the pack. I slowed down to let the crib pass and shot an eye roll heaven-ward.
He thinks he's sooooooo funny.
Last night I dreamed that Scary Spice and I were running through rivers of mud trying to catch up with my Dad, who I thought might have found my missing purse.
I don't have any idea what this means.
But just in case there's any truth in the dream and you happen to be in a similar situation, don't EVER accidentally fling mud in Scary Spice's hair. She really hates that.
We lost the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness magnet somewhere in the depths of the car wash last night.
The car feels completely naked now. I didn't realize how much I needed the magnet until it blew off in the multi-coloured streams of soap and disappeared.
I'm. So. Needy.
I have ordered a new magnet and will try to ignore the nakedness for the time being.
Grief. Scary Spice. Car magnets.