Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Roadblocks

So I finally muster up the courage to call about scheduling the lap (even though we haven't officially decided for sure if that is indeed our next step) and I find out they're currently scheduling into May.

Into. May.

I knew it wouldn't be next week or anything, but I'd kind of hoped to hear it wouldn't be more than a month or so away. Sometime after Thomas' 2nd birthday, but certainly long before my 37th.

No such luck. 'What a surprise', she said oozing sarcasm.

So in the interim we'll just continue plodding along blindly, not knowing if the past two years (because it'll be one month shy of two years by then) have been in vain.

Good Lord.

After I hung up with the nurse from the good Doctor's office I stood, seething, in the living room wondering how many more roadblocks the universe is planning to toss in front of us during the course of this journey. I mean, we've crawled our way over an ungodly number of barriers already, but my God, how much more can be thrown at us? And how much more are we supposed to take?

All. We. Want. Is. A. Baby.

People have them every day. Sometimes in multiples. I've seen the bellies. I know.

My Beloved, bless his heart and his calming effect on me, suggested that the baby we'll get (because he's still so sure one is coming out way) will be the right one - the one that we're meant to get. And not despite the delays, but because of them. The roadblocks that make me so crazed with rage will ultimately be the reason we'll get the child we will. The right child.

It's a nice theory. In fact I can almost believe it.

Almost.

6 comments:

Denise said...

I wonder if your Dr. can pull some strings for you. Our Canadian health care system works in mysterious ways. (((hugs)))

Margaret said...

I'm so sorry you have to wait so long for your appt.

Rosepetal said...

I'm sorry. It makes me angry. You deserve to have all the short-cuts and fast-tracks necessary! Do they not understand that?? The Canadian systems sounds v. similar to the UK system.

Personally I think Thomas was meant to be for you too but something went wrong. He is such a loved little boy, I cannot see why he wasn't meant to be the one.

Aurelia said...

Hi, I've had 2 laps, and a couple of things to keep in mind when you try to schedule them. Ask about cancellations, since they have those quite often, and if you can be available, you might get in faster.
Also, different Docs have different OR times. Try asking for other Docs, and see if anyone is scheduling faster. And apologies if you have already done this, but try asking for a HSG. They can look in your uterus and tubes and see obvious stuff, like blockages, or fibroids, etc.
You may still need the lap but it will give you a beter idea of why.
Email me if you want to ask anything about my surgeon, etc.

kate said...

That sucks....i am sorry. It's like even the HARD things have to be HARDER, it just isn't fair! I hope denise is right and your doctor can pull some strings!

Bronwyn said...

Ah, the ever-helpful Canadian health system! Sorry you have to wait so long; I know how frustrating that is.

And I think your Beloved is right -- whatever baby you get, however it happens, it will be the right one.