Saturday, February 03, 2007

What's in a name?

So I've been giving the whole what shall we call ourselves? thing some thought. And here's what I've come up with:

Perinatal infant loss and/or miscarriage survivor - PILAMS

Miscarriage and/or infant loss survivor - MAILS

Parent of little lost angel(s) - POLLA

Parent in mourning - PIM

What a depressing exercise. And fruitless too, since people will always want to know more than you're comfortable telling, and will still always look at you with shock and horror no matter what pretty little name you use to tell them that your child has died.


But stiil, pim kind of rolls off the tongue nicely, no? And it would be ever so amusing to answer, "No, I'm a pim" the next time someone asks if I have any kids.

Heh heh heh.


delphi said...

I dare you.

Pim. He he he.

ess said...

Mother Of Miracle

'nuff said.

Bronwyn said...

I think we should all get more ballsy and answer this question as honestly as possible. If wen said it succinctly (e.g. "Our son died shortly after he was born, and now we're trying for another", "We lost a daughter at birth and now we're hoping to adopt", etc.), maybe it would be less awkward. We should also give our answer confidently, with our heads held high. I find that it's when I look down and mumble that I get the silly, patronizing platitudes the most (though, there are always going to be people who will say silly, insensitive things, no matter how you present it).

The more this kind of answer becomes a possibility to the question asked, the less we PIMs will feel like freaks. It may also sensitize the greater public, who knows.

I like the term "PIM", btw. It reminds me of this very tasty drink:'s
We could have a virtual cocktail party: PIMMs for the PIMs!

Sarah said...

I like PIM.

But I also secretly wish I could be as gutsy as what Bronwyn describes.