Sunday, May 14, 2006

Over the limit

I know that I'm incredibly blessed in so many ways - and believe it or not, I try hard not to take those blessings for granted. I struggle to not dwell solely on negative things each and every second of the day (you know, things like having a dead baby).

But you'll excuse me if today I'm not in a "counting my blessings kind of mood".

Aside from the obvious torment of dragging myself through a day that's designed to celebrate the joys that were torn from me 14 months ago, I'm raging because the flipping rabbits ate my vegetables. My beautiful, healthy broccoli (one and a half down, one to go), two heads of Romaine lettuce, half a celery and a bunch of onions.

You know, the garden is the only thing I'm apparently allowed to grow and nurture (and I'm talking to you here, God), so is it too much to ask that you keep the foraging beasts out of my yard? Let them run amok in the yards of people who are growing weeds and crabgrass, but for the love of - well, for the love of YOU - can you PLEASE steer them away from my tender new vegetables?

And no, since you're wondering, I didn't find it amusing to overhear two people across the street discussing the fact that one couple's child is turning two next week (the same week our first child would have turned two) or that the second couple's first baby is due on August 4th.

You know something? I didn't really want to hear that today, and letting it waft clear as day through the streets while I was in the garage studying the bottle of "Critter Ridder" in preparation for protecting what's left of our garden wasn't so funny either.

And while I'm at it, did every pregnant Catholic woman in town absolutely have to go to the 9:00am Mass? Did they??

God, there's only so much I can handle in one day. It's only noon and I've reached my limit. Please ease up on me - and on all Mothers who are lost in sorrow today - and just let me make it through the rest of the day in peace.



Denise said...

(((hugs))) - I wish today was different for you.

Bronwyn said...

I just wanted to pop in and say Happy Mother's Day. I'm so sorry the rabbits are eating your vegetables and that you were bombarded by preggos all morning. (I purposely stayed away from church today just for that reason -- I couldn't bear to be around all of the "happy families".) I hope your Beloved spoils you today and that you are able to find even a little peace. Maybe Lady and Steve will give you a show that will put a smile on your face even if just briefly. Thinking of you. (((Big hug)))

miraclebaby said...

I am so sorry, MOther's Day is very hard for me this year, too. I wish things were different for you, but I know that you are a mother, so Happy Mother's Day. Prayers for peace in your heart and healthy veggies, and above all, a child to hold in your arms one day soon.

kate said...

((((((((hugs)))))))) and i am thinking of you!

I did go to church too...which is hard on these days. And, i cornered Father Mark after mass too, and *strongly suggested* that he include mothers who had lost their children in his mother's day homily next time. Whacked him out of left field on that one, heh heh...serves him right for sending me those raffle tickets. I will take you up on your offer to take one, by the way -- maybe you will win!

I am sorry about those damned rabbits. I never know what to do in cases like this....yes i do, actually. I suggest cuddling up to your Beloved and watching Wallace & Gromit's 'curse of the were-rabbit' with a nice box of chocolates. Ok, doesn't solve the problem but might provide some relief anyway...

Anam Cara said...

Thinking of you today Kristin. And I think it is fantastic that Kate told her priest he should include mothers of children not with us on earth in his Mother's Day homily. Hoping you find a bit of peace today. ((hugs))

lauralu said...

wishing you peace today, and that your "critter ridder" is successful. (if it works, you'll have to share some.)

Sandy said...

I'm so sorry you had to experience all that yesterday. There was a baptism (I love them, but hate SURPRISE a baptism in Mass days...especially on M-day) at my parish. I'm trying to get the courage up to go to a rememberance mass this Thursday evening - in memory of all our babies. We'll see.

Shannon said...

I know it's crazy, you're a complete stranger, but I found myself thinking of you and hoping that you were finding some peace and rest. Happy (late) Mother's Day.