Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If

I know it's wrong, and certainly just plain icky of me, but I'm currently working on a nice, slow seethe over Britney's ability to procreate with such apparent ease ( I shouldn't have picked up that People magazine this morning).

It bugged me the first time, but the second time - an admitted oops - is just plain annoying to the uterinely challenged.

I should NOT begrudge someone a child, no matter how vapid they are or how atrocious their choice of breeding partner. But I do.

There she is - in all her nubile glory, buck naked on the cover of some magazine - flaunting her fertility in my face. And only two months after she tearfully begged the media to leave her alone and just let her be a regular wife and mom.

'Cause you know, that's what all regular moms do - strip down to the skivvies God gave 'em and pose for national magazines with strategically placed hands covering enormous breasts and legs crossed 'just so" to avoid giving readers a view of baby's escape hatch.

She just bugs me, that's all.

It's because I'm old and bitter. And require drugs to make my innards do what hers are still able to do all on their own, dammit.

After I flipped past the Britney article I came across an ad that showed a harried mom with two toddlers doing harried mom stuff. I can't remember what produce was being advertised. In fact I'm not sure I even noticed because I just kept thinking that I was once this close to being a mom just like that - one with a baby right here instead of in heaven.

It's a funky blue day, I guess. A day for lavish pity parties and thoughts of what might have been. If I was younger. If I'd known something was wrong. If I could turn back time.

If I still had my Thomas.

6 comments:

DinosaurD said...

From what I've been told - the whole Britney thing bothers even those who are not fertiliy challenged. How can someone not find her (and her rapper wanna be) irritating?
You may think you are old and bitter but I'm still ahead of you (and no, this is not supposed to sound like some weird challenge).
DinoD

Shannon (shan977) said...

Ugh! Don't get me started on that tramp! Sometimes I seriously wonder what God is thinking.
(((HUGS)))

Woman_Who_Knits said...

I'm old, bitter, and infertile! I just can't stand her!! It amazes me that someone who calls himself K-Fed can actually be allowed by God, the cosmos, or the Goddess to have 4 children!! What sick twisted world do we live in????

That felt better!!

Cathy

Denise said...

That's not what you needed to see...actually nobody needs to see her road wreck life on the cover of a magazine.
I'm sorry you're having a "what if" day. They are the worst.((hugs))

Margaret said...

((((CK)))) I have the exact same reaction every time I see her, and I don't have half the reasons to that you do. So, my fellow "oldster", don't feel like you are in the minority on this one. I think it's rather the opposite;-)

hoping4_zzzsss said...

I try not to pay attention to the BS (ha ha) and the KFed but her face and belly have just been staring at me from the racks over conveyor belts at the store too... I just wanted to send you some hugs from Disneyland...:)