Thank you so much to everyone who wrote suggestions for how to deal with my Christmas cards. I decided I really do want to send them out. Even though I know I'm well within my rights to shut the curtains, turn off all the lights and hibernate from now until New Year, I want to celebrate as much of the season as I can in a way that brings me whatever joy I can find.
So after reading all your suggestions and an article a friend sent to me, I hit upon an idea. I have some angel Christmas stickers leftover from a few years ago. They're really small, which is part of the reason I didn't use too many of them, but they're just the perfect size to slip beneath our names on the inside of our cards in memory of Thomas.
So that's what I'm doing. In fact, I gave it a try this morning. I wrote six more cards and only cried one. I think that's pretty good! It felt wonderful to feel that Thomas wasn't being left out. That's what was bothering me so much and why I had to stop before.
I don't know how many people will figure out why there's a tiny angel underneath our names on their Christmas card, but it doesn't matter. I know why they're there. I know they represent the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen, who came and went far too fast, but who I'll never, ever stop loving or stop remembering.