Sunday, November 13, 2005

The open window

My Beloved and I were just out on our deck, surveying our childless kingdom in all its depressing fall glory, when I noticed something. The people behind us - the ones whom we almost never see and know nothing about, the ones who always have their blinds and curtains firmly closed to the outside world - have a crib. Today one window was radiant in its curtainless glory and just beyond that window is the unmistakable end rail of a crib.


A couple moved into the house two doors down from them a few months ago, and they're having a baby too. I confirmed my suspicion the other day when I saw the mommy and her unmistakable bump wandering around their backyard. It was most certainly not a little extra weight, as I'd been wondering for weeks.

I've had a few months' respite from pregnant bellies and newborn babies since the last of the previous round of pregnant women gave birth in September, but it's starting again. So now I can look forward to a winter of wondering when the next time I'll catch sight of a bulging belly will be.


I am genuinely happy for both of these women, I really am. A baby is the most precious thing in the whole world.

That's why seeing the crib just about killed me.


Anam Cara said...

I know how hard it is when the neighbors start having babies. Two of mine had babies within 3 months of my son Thomas' death. It was SO hard to see them out and about while I was suffering so badly. The pain was unbearable. Even now, 20 mths on, I still feel that somewhat; not as bad as in the first year, but it is still there. A neighbor, who I don't even know but who lives diagonally across the street, just had a baby a few days ago and it has left me feeling a little sad. When they moved in she was pregnant and that actually prevented me from going over and talking to her! That is why I still don't know her. You are not alone in feeling those things. It sucks when everyone else seems to get what we didn't. We were cheated and it is so unfair. Gig ((hugs)) to you.

Sherry said...

Okay, so I don't have "the people behind us with the crib," but instead I have 'the people two doors up who are pregnant."

I know ... it IS tough because we want to know that kind of happiness, too.