I asked to be put on a cancellation list when I made my lap appointment because I didn't want to have to wait until May if there was any chance that I could sneak in earlier.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Because, you see, they called me Tuesday to ask if I could take a cancellation. They called very early and woke me up and in my stupor I said yes.
I. SAID. YES.
And so my new appointment is next week. One week from today. ONE. WEEK. FROM. TODAY.
I couldn't be more freaked out if I tried. I've already requested Valium because I'm relatively sure I can't make it without some sort of strong hallucinatory drug intervention. And I mean drug intervention that begins long before I set sight on that big blue H sign.
Doing my pre-op blood work at the hospital was trauma enough. As soon as I got home and closed the front door I burst into tears.
Good Lord. What have I done?
This is all I can think about, so I apologize in advance for at least 6 more I AM FREAKED OUT BEYOND BELIEF posts between now and the surgery.
Please still love me.