Instead of thinking...

I could talk about the nightmares I've been having the last few days, or the anxiety attacks I've been having for the last few weeks, or how afraid I am that this might be the last time I'll ever be pregnant, or how much I'm dreading the surgery, or how scared I am of what happens next - but instead I think I'll just post some pictures from my garden.

Since I found out I was pregnant on July 11th, I've sorely neglected my poor angel garden. It got tangled and overgrown, and fell victim to Japanese beetles and bunny rabbits.

Yesterday I went to a peaceful little nursery out in the country and came home with a box full of lilies and phlox. This morning, before it rained, I spent an hour and a half weeding, pruning and culling the bedraggled plants that just needed to go.

And in their place:







There are two lilies and a phlox not yet in bloom that didn't have their pictures taken. They're quietly waiting for their respective close-ups. The promise of blooms in the coming days and a garden that has had order restored is very soothing right now. Digging in the dirt I managed to find a few precious moments of peace.

And if I try hard enough, I can almost pretend this was just a normal day.