Monday, August 20, 2007

Instead of thinking...

I could talk about the nightmares I've been having the last few days, or the anxiety attacks I've been having for the last few weeks, or how afraid I am that this might be the last time I'll ever be pregnant, or how much I'm dreading the surgery, or how scared I am of what happens next - but instead I think I'll just post some pictures from my garden.

Since I found out I was pregnant on July 11th, I've sorely neglected my poor angel garden. It got tangled and overgrown, and fell victim to Japanese beetles and bunny rabbits.

Yesterday I went to a peaceful little nursery out in the country and came home with a box full of lilies and phlox. This morning, before it rained, I spent an hour and a half weeding, pruning and culling the bedraggled plants that just needed to go.

And in their place:







There are two lilies and a phlox not yet in bloom that didn't have their pictures taken. They're quietly waiting for their respective close-ups. The promise of blooms in the coming days and a garden that has had order restored is very soothing right now. Digging in the dirt I managed to find a few precious moments of peace.

And if I try hard enough, I can almost pretend this was just a normal day.

14 comments:

Chili said...

Your garden is breathtaking and I'm glad you found some peace in tending it.

Jennifer said...

((HUGS)) I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I wish I could make things different and better for you.

JPup

Julia said...

The flowers are beautiful.
I am thinking about you.

Angela said...

The flowers are very lovely. I'm glad you were able to catch a few moments of peace in there. You will be on my mind tomorrow.

missing_one said...

Beautiful!

I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best!

niobe said...

Order restored and blooms to come -- it may not be much, but it's something.

B said...

I know it doesn't change things to hear this but you are an amazing person.

the word that comes to mind is grace.

You have grace in even your darkest times.

The garden is beautiful.

Sending strength your way. And tears. And the eternal question, why?

Jackie said...

They are beautiful additions to your garden! All the virtual hugs and strength to you and your DH today!

Beruriah said...

Stunning flowers. Weeding sounds like a good way to pass difficult days.

I'm thinking of you constantly.

Sunny said...

Beautiful!

Kathy McC said...

Beautiful flowers. I am thinking of you today.

Cheek said...

I just love phlox - your flowers look so beautiful.

Elizabeth said...

I find it soothing and comforting just to look at the photos - thanks for posting. Thinking of you often...

wannabe mom said...

i'm glad you made the time to work in your garden. the flowers are beautiful. i think of you often.