Thursday, August 23, 2007

It's just me again

Last night when I lay down across the bed on my tummy to rest for a second after climbing upstairs, I felt the difference. That unmistakable hardness is gone.

They're gone.

And I felt alone in that way only someone who has carried and lost a child can possibly understand.

34 comments:

Kathy McC said...

((((hugs))) I understand.

missing_one said...

yes...as if you are the only one there...because you are.
Sometimes, i swear I can hear echos I'm so alone in my own body.
*hugs*

Julie said...

Sending you a million hugs, and wishing it was enough to actually help.

Chili said...

I understand. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It totally sucks.

bleu said...

I understand, and I am so very sorry.

Denise said...

((((hugs))) - No one should have to feel like that. I'm so sorry.

Drowned Girl said...

I'm so sorry

Rosepetal said...

Dear Msfitzita, I've been away, but I have been thinking about you. I feel terrible for you and S, there is no reason why these awful experiences should keep happening to you.

lots of love to you both
Rosepetal.

Sherry said...

I wish I didn't understand, but I do. (((HUGS)))

Sunny said...

So sad! I hate that understand the feeling. HUGS!

Beruriah said...

Oh, do I understand that alone feeling. I'm sorry.

Julia said...

I understand, and I am so so sorry.

Julie said...

((((Kristin))))

Carole said...

{{hugs}} I understand and I'm so sorry.
~Carole

Trish said...

My heart is breaking..I never got the "full" feeling this last time.. but the first time, I did. And yes.. it was actually in the night when I rolled over. I came awake when I realized I wasn't uncomfortable all I could think was "oh."
I'm so sorry.

miraclebaby said...

I am so sorry:(

wannabe mom said...

you said it right. many many hugs to you.

meg said...

I'm so sorry. I do understand that alone feeling. I wish so much that it was something that we all don't have in common.

Heather said...

I remember.
I understand.

Birdie said...

sweetheart, I am so sorry.
you are in my thoughts, in my quiet prayers....i think of you so much.

please know we all love you and are sending you so much love and so much support.

Erin, Birdies Mama

CappyPrincess said...

There just aren't words enough to say I remember. I understand. I'm sorry.

Beautiful Curve said...

I know what you mean about that hardness being gone. After my daughter died at 22wks and I delivered her, I realizes that this stubborn 'hardness' was gone.

and it absolutely broke my heart. my baby, my darling girl 'E', was in fact gone.

How horribly cruel for us.

sending you big strong HUGS

The Town Criers said...

I am so so sorry, sweetie.

Carrie said...

I understand. I wish I didn't, but I do.
I'm so sorry and I wish there was more I could say. Thinking of you.

iemvee said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I know that feeling of being alone and it's terrible.

Cheek said...

I understand. It's so, so painful, and I wish it could have left you the hell alone this time. I'm so sorry.

decemberbaby said...

Here through Mel's lost and found...

I miscarried around this time last year (I was at 9w5d) and for months afterwards I felt empty and alone. And empty. I totally understand.

A year later I'm in a much better place, but oh, those were difficult months after the miscarriage. I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of love.

Jenna said...

I undersstand. I hate that I understand, but I do.

http://epilogue.inconceivablejourney.com

Searching said...

I'm so sorry.

Dreamer4agift said...

I'm so very sorry...There's nothing else to say.

Bea said...

I heard your news. I'm sorry. It's not fair.

Bea

Baby Blues said...

I'm so sorry. I feel your pain.
I understand. After finally getting my first BFP on my 4th IUI, I was diagnosed to be blighted. The extreme highs and lows hurt. Now I'm just waiting to miscarry before a D&C could be schduled.
Hugs. I wish I could say something to make it better but there's just no words right now.

Maya's Mom said...

I am so, so sorry. :*( :*(
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Gentle Healing Hugs}}}}}}}}}}

missing_one said...

How ARE YOU doing?
*hugs*