I'm entirely too tired and mentally spent to explain tonight, but the news at today's ultrasound was the same as Friday's. I know I'm not 10 weeks yet - the date at which point (and not before) people say you should be willing to accept that it's well and truly over - but even I have to admit that the evidence is extremely compelling. And I'm a hard nut to crack.
Our plan now is to sleep on it. Just sleep. There's no harm in waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally, so we're not rushing into anything that will hasten that process at the moment. And yeah, it's possible I might want another ultrasound just to be extra sure, but I don't know. At this point I just don't know if I can go in for the 6th time and deal with the pitying looks from the staff at the clinic.
I get that I'm pitiful. I don't need to see it screaming out at me from every face who looks at my chart, then at me.
So for now, I sleep. No one can see me there.