Today my head was filled with very adult thoughts. I don't mean x-rated thoughts, I mean very mature, grown-up, how-on-earth-did-I-get-here-and-how-on-earth-am-I-supposed-to-make-all-the-decisions-I-have-to-make kind of thoughts.
Hard core stuff.
And so I don't want to think about it anymore, nor do I want to write about it. I've been swimming in it all day and I've had enough. I'm stepping out of the pool of adulthood and drying off. With my giant purple parrot beach towel.
Tonight I'm going to be a kid. Or maybe a teenager - I liked 1988. That was a good year. I had a gigantic crush on a guy named Michael (who didn't know I existed and went on to marry someone else, if you can believe it), I loved Mel Gibson and Duran Duran (almost as much as Michael), I was the Social Coordinator on the Student Council (which meant I bought the decorations for our dances and banquets) and I sang back-up in my friend's band. Twice.
Ahhhh, those were the days. Sure, I had my woes and I cried my fair share of tears (primarily over Michael who, as we've already discussed, wasn't the least bit interested in me). And yes, I had worries and I fretted in that way only teenage girls can fret. But it really was all so simple and sweet back then.
And I had no idea I had it so good. I had absolutely no idea life was as easy as it was.
What I wouldn't give to be able to walk into my childhood home at the end of a day like today and know that a hug from my Mom would make it all go away. What I wouldn't give to know that everything is going to be okay and that things will look brighter in the morning. What I wouldn't give to have problems that a good night's sleep could solve.
Today I'm tired of my grown-up life. I'm tired of unending sorrow, I'm tired of facing an uncertain future, I'm tired of feeling like l'm in some crazy-ass twilight zone episode where the unthinkable happens, nothing makes sense and there are no rules.
I sure could use a little 1988.
6 comments:
Oh, I'll go right there with you! I'd love to be able to step out of that adult pool, shake myself off the way a dog does after a bath, and cheerfully go on my merry way. Now I completely understand why my grandmother told me to cherish every minute of my childhood. I just wish I would've listened sooner. (((HUGS)))
Well if we're doing Duran Duran can we wind it back to 84??? John Taylor was my honey but only because my two older cousins had already taken Simon and Nick Rhodes.
There is nothing wrong with a little 1988, we should all head back to visit more often!
I'll take the second half of 1988...Junior in high school...the world at my fingertips...no boyfriend, but who needs boys...my driver's license was new and I hadn't yet wrecked my parents' van. ah...those were the days...
I could take a little of the mid-80s right now. Hanging out, listening to the Cure, not a care in the world besides finding a cute date to the prom... Of course, back then I thought my life was *full* of problems, lol!
If you want to escape to movieland, 80's style, you should rent "13 Going on 30." It's a cute movie and it'll really take you back to the "good old days!" H&S!
Amen to 1988... I feel so far from there in some ways, and so close in others, not the good ones. *sigh*
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