Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Tick Tock

It's funny when they call your bluff, isn't it? The doctors, I mean.

I went in for a routine blood pressure check this morning, and while I was there I mentioned some annoying heart palpitations I've been having on and off for the last month or so (which have secretly being making me crazy. Crazier).

I've had palpitations for as long as I can remember (usually when I'm overtired or stressed out of my gourd), and was checked out very thoroughly 17 years ago when they seemed particularly frequent to me. Everything was normal. Benign, even.

The thing is, it didn't really stop me from worrying about it. My mind is like that. Impenetrable to anything even remotely resembling relief or reassurance.

I was hoping she'd slough off my fears, wave her hand dismissively and tell me it was stress. All in my head. Nothing to worry about.

Instead she said, "Hmmmmmm", looked concerned and listened to my ticker intently.

It seemed normal (kind of like Michigan J. Frog, who'll only sing for the guy who opens up the time capsule), but just to be sure, I'm scheduled for a heart monitor hook up in the next few days.

Two weeks with a portable monitor making me even more aware of my fluttering heart than I already am.

Fanfuckingtastic.

Except that maybe this time if nothing is wrong, I'll believe it.

Shut up. I might.

5 comments:

Julia said...

My thyroid was giving me heart palpitations this spring. Is yours ok?
I hope all that comes of this experience is the annoyance of going around with a device for two weeks, and that you will be able to believe them when the news is good. Crossing bits for this.

loribeth said...

Sorry you have to go through this. :( Here's hoping it all turns out well. Definitely get your thyroid checked too.

I was diagnosed with a very minor heart murmur about 20 years ago -- on a scale of 1 to 6, the cardiologist ranked my problem a 0.5. When I started having panic attacks as we wound up infertility treatments, I thought I was having a heart attack at first, & my family dr humoured me by sending me for a whole raft of tests again, which turned up nothing beyond the mild murmur.

bleu said...

I love that word.
Fanfukingtastic.

Love it.

I agree with thyroid check.
I also hope all is well and the test doesn't make you batty.

Pbugs Mommy said...

I don't know how to reach you other than leaving a comment. No one reads my blog just yet, so I hope that you will send this out to your faithful readers, friends, and some-time lurkers (like me). Please ask for prayers for my dear friend and co-worker Sam and his family. Your readers will understand better than anyone else. Sam and his wife released their sweet Emma Claire into God's care yesterday at 17 weeks gestation due to the Parvo Virus. They are a wonderful family and although unexpected, this baby was very much wanted and loved. Godspeed, Emma Claire. Watch over your Mommy, Daddy, and big Brother and Sister from Heaven.

SaraS-P said...

I hope it turns out to be nothing. And you believe the results.