Okay, so I'm hooked up to the heart monitor. Have been for 6 hours. Have I had one single little flutter? One trace of a palpitation? One itty, bitty blip? No.
They've plagued me for the better part of two months, tormenting me endlessly, and now when I WANT them to come, they won't.
Doesn't that just figure? Doesn't that just flucking figure??
Because the thing is, I wear this for two weeks OR until I record 14 "episodes". Yes, it's a relatively small device (ipod size vs. the extra-large Walkman size one I wore 17 years ago), but one of the two sticky disks (I'm sure there's an actual name for them) that keeps the electrode next to my skin is ever-so-unflatteringly placed just below my collarbone to the immediate right of the middle of my neck. In plain view unless I'm wearing a turtle neck or a nun's habit.
And I have neither.
And this is annoying.
I scoffed when the nurse, a woman in her 50's wearing braces that seemed about 10 times too big for her mouth, told me the two week or 14 episode rule. I told her I'd likely be back in a few days given the frequency of the flutters.
She didn't seem impressed by this, by the way.
I know I should be happy, not to mention relieved, that the flutters seem to have magically calmed down. And I am. But I'd be much happier if I wasn't connected to a heart monitor by two sticky disks, one very visible and increasingly itchy, for what may now be two full weeks.
The fun never stops.