Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Luck of the draw

I just read about Siamese twins who were successfully separated in France last week. They were boys born at just 26 weeks, their spines fused at the base. They were kept in hospital until they were old enough for the surgery to be safely attempted. All went well and they're expected to have healthy, normal childhoods.

And my perfectly healthy, full term baby died because there was only one OB on staff and he was in surgery when I needed him. He was too busy to assess me at the two-hour pushing mark. Too busy to determine that Thomas was face up and not likely to be born vaginally until three hours of pushing had passed. Just too busy to be able save my son's life.

Fuck.

I will be a force to be reckoned with if I ever get pregnant again. I will refuse to be ignored and heaven help the first person in white who tries.

I'm sorry Thomas. I didn't know then what I know now and I'm so sorry, my little one.

4 comments:

Denise said...

(((hugs))) - I hope that Dr. thinks about your son often and that Thomas's life has made a difference in the way he or she practices medicine.Thomas deserves that...all children and mothers deserve that.

Catherine said...

I'm so sorry. I understand. My son is dead because my doctor couldn't listen to me when I told her I was sick and something wasn't right. The anger and unfairness of it all can eat you alive. I'm so sorry.

DinosaurD said...

I'm hoping for you that it's "when you get pregnant", not if.

When we started having fetal distress during labour, our doctor said "oh, it's probably just the placenta" - after 2 hrs of pushing and no progress at all.

The nurse phoned for an OB/GYN consult (over the objections of my doctor). I will be forever thankful that our nurse had the courage to directly ignore our doctor.

Long story - immediate emergency C-section with about 6 doctors in attendance and a couple of neonatal specialists. Thankfully our son was okay although we had a lot of worry for the first 8/9 months.

But for the grace of god, I think a lot more of us would be in your shoes.

Please take care of yourself

D

R said...

I am so sorry. Ugh. Yes, you WILL be a force to be reckoned with. As well you should be.

Rach