Sunday, January 01, 2006

There's a cat on my head

I just surrendered the comfy office chair to the cat (because she asked so nicely). I'm now perched on top of the bum-mangling wooden stool instead. This is going to have to be a short blog because my cheeks are already getting numb.

Perhaps I love the cat just a little too much.

But Lucy's been such a good little friend to me, despite the random puking, the occasional fart in my face and the relentless poking when she wants to get under the covers with me at night. Despite all that I just can't say 'no' to her dumb little face.

I used to worry about how she'd react to Thomas. I was never worried that she'd be vicious - quite the opposite. I worried that she'd love him to death. You hear stories (are they urban myths or true??) about cats that accidentally suffocate babies by crawling into their cribs and snuggling a little too close.

The other night I woke up with Lucy on my head. I think I might well have had reason to worry about her loving Thomas too much too.

It's funny the things you worry about. Every catastrophic thing I could imagine ran in and out of my head a million times while I was pregnant. It was like a marathon for disturbing thoughts the whole 9 months. But the funny thing is I never worried about what actually ended up happening. I knew about abruptions, but for some reason never worried that I'd have one.

I guess that's a good lesson - worrying didn't save Thomas, it only made the precious time we had together less joyous than it should have been. And in the end the thing I didn't worry about was the thing that took him from me. All the worrying I did was completely fruitless. I hope I can remember that if I get pregnant again. I hope it will still make as much sense as it does now, that lesson I had to learn the hard way.

In the meantime all I have to worry about is keeping Lucy off my head.

Oh who are we kidding - I'm a pushover when it comes to small, cute things. I'm sure tonight Lucy will once again be tucked up under the blankets with me or, if she so desires, curled up on top of my head.

To be honest, I don't mind a bit.


Catherine said...

Alex was my second pregnancy, so I didn't worry about anything. I don't think it made the memories of his existence any sweeter than your memories ot Thomas.

Sarah said...

We too have a cat who wraps us around her little paw. :) I used to wonder how she would be with Kate, I'm pretty sure she would have grown to love having another warm body to curl up near. I love the kitty pic!