I'm just sitting here marveling at how fast life changes. I'm amazed we don't all have whiplash, as a matter of fact. Here one minute and gone the next - isn't that the way these days? Or is it just me?
I remember a professor I had in University once telling us that he didn't mind getting older, he just hated having breakfast every 10 minutes. I chuckled at the time. I got the joke, theoretically, but I was 22 and couldn't possibly really understand. It's only now that I can slap my forehead and say, 'oooohhhhh NOW I get it.' Because now I do. Life is racing by at an alarming rate.
It's kind of like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the horrible Nazi guy melts before our eyes after the Ark of the Covenant is opened.
Yes, it feels THAT fast.
I remember being in this very room looking out across the street at a gaggle of moms and tots sitting on the grass in a tiny wisp of maple tree shade. One mom had just had her first baby and I could tell how happy she was to be a part of this exclusive little club. It was a few months before I'd have my first miscarriage - a few months before I'd know just how exclusive and elusive that club actually is.
Now tonight when I look out the same window I see a dark, rain soaked street. It's empty and an uneasy change is hanging in the damp air. The maple tree is a little bigger but there are no moms around to take refuge under its branches. One has cleared out her house in preparation for a move to another neighbourhood; and the other, that once happy new mom who hasn't been seen in an alarming number of days, is dying.
Two years have passed in the blink of an eye. Three of my children have passed with it.
In two years this street has lost three babies and will soon lose two mothers.
It feels like yesterday that I had the same hope I'm sure the dying mother had when she sat in the shade of the maple tree with her new baby. And now? Well, now we're dealing with things we never dreamed would come our way so fast.
My head is spinning with it. I can't even begin imagine what must be going on in hers.
God help us.